There is a vulnerability between us that I feel. It was sparked with a shared bisexual confession. The first time for me admitting to someone other than my husband that I was attracted to women. My first time owning it out loud.
Ruby brought it up and the relief of "You too?!?" flooded the senses and instantly made me feel understood. Less taboo. Clean. Here was this mother and wife that I admired and loved as a sister...with the same struggle.
Even knowing back then that nothing could ever happen between us didn't matter. I still had my fantasies and if nothing else, knowing she shared the same struggle made them better. I didn't feel alone. After twelve years I finally wasn't alone with this burden of my sexual reality.
I could cry.