I love her, but I am not in love with her.

There are things I want to do to her body that have nothing to do with love. I just want to cool this aching fire I feel for her. But I take it slow, we take it slow. It's important not to rush and to fully embrace these moments and take note of what this means to each of us. Thinking about Ruby, my heart races and I feel an instant wetness between my legs. Why can't my body move slowly when I think of her instead of this quick carnal reaction? I want to find William and lock the kids in front of the TV so he can damper this wanting. But he is at work. So I fold laundry, scrub toilets and mother my two until everything softens and the fire burns down to a flicker.