It still makes my heart drop.

Thinking about our first kiss. The awkward perfection of that moment and how looking back, I can't imagine it any other way for us.

The power had been out. Flashlights and candles and her crazy awesome children relishing in the excitement of the change of routine. Bedtime for them...and then it was just Ruby in the dark. I wanted to make the first move, but I couldn't make that first move, knowing that there had been hesitation on their part. I didn't want to assume. I wanted it to go how she had imagined.

We were sitting on her couch...the clock ticking. The power had come back on, but we had left the lights out. The snow was falling fat and happy outside. Nervous conversation, my nervous hands. Me rambling on about how I wasn't sure if this is what she wanted...rambling like I do. I was so nervous. We had talked and messaged about it...but was it really going to happen? I wanted it to. I think she did.

Ruby: "Get over here."

And just like that we were kissing.

Her lips soft. Her face, her body, her breathing consumed me. I wanted to stop time in that quiet moment and yet everything in my body wanted more. Wanted every part of her. I had to stop and look at her, to ask if this was really happening.

Patience has never been my strong suit. We soon realized that we have forgotten how to just make out. And that had been our plan. To kiss. To start small and simple. But we did much more. ..