I know I am not a lesbian.

It is a fair question to ask oneself when in this situation. There is something I get from my husband that I can't imagine giving up and I can't get from Ruby or any other woman. Yes, there is the obvious male genitalia...but it isn't just that- though that is a big part of it.

I love the smell of a man. Of my man.
I love his masculinity.
His body hair and grit.
The coarseness of his face when he hasn't shaved.
His rough hands on my soft body.
I enjoy feeling feminie and petite and like the weaker sex.

The first time I was with William after being with Ruby it was confirmed that I wanted both. I want both! I feel whole having both and enjoying the differences they offer. I don't have to deny that anymore. Don't have to pretend and feel guilty for being wired this way.

There was a fear both William and I had. It is what took him so long to give me the free card and part of why I held onto it for so long before using it. We both worried that I would prefer women over men. I think I knew deep down that it wasn't possible, but he is a cautious man and we are a logical couple.

Being with Ruby makes me want William even more...and we are both reaping the benefits.